Diana Wynne Jones

“Nobody gets praised for the right reasons.”

“If you're thinking of calling on that Mrs. Pentstemmon, you can save yourself the trouble. The old biddy's dead."”

“Things we are accustomed to regard as myth or fairy story are very much present in people’s lives. Nice people behave like wicked stepmothers. Every day.”

“If you stood up and told the truth in the wrong way, it was not true any longer, though it might be as powerful as ever.”

“The only good Dorig is a dead Dorig.”

“One does not want glory accepted as a matter of course. One wants to shock and astonish people with it.”

“Adara was impressed. "How do you know that?" "I learnt it," said Hathil. "It pays to learn things."”

“She was one of those who could talk and talk and talk. Gair listened to her harsh voice - "Just like a duck," Ayna described it - and hoped she would lose the argument. But Adara once said Kasta had never lost an argument in her life. She just talked everyone insensible.”

“"Look here," Gerald said, "what do you think of Giants?" There was the kind of pause that happens when people do not like to say what they really think.”

“Over scones round the kitchen table, it emerged that Aunt Mary thought Ayna, Gair and Ceri came from Malaysia. Brenda looked at their faces and breathed in half a scone. "Or that either," said Ceri.”

“"This is a very old argument. The greatest happiness of the greatest number. If you think about it, you'll find it always works out that a few suffer for the good of the rest." "Call it the modern version," Mr Claybury suggested kindly.”

“There was a little white statue there. Now I'm not artistic. I saw it was of a fellow with no clothes on - I always wonder why it's Art to take your clothes off: they never put in the goose pimples - and this fellow was wrapped in chains. He didn't look as if he was enjoying himself, and small wonder.”

“You wouldn't believe how lonely you get.”

“"Unprintable things!" I said - only I didn't say that. I really said them.”

“I was a thoroughly hardened Homeward Bounder. There seemed nothing I didn't know. Then I ran into Helen. My friendly neighbourhood enemy. There really was nothing like Helen on any world I'd ever been to. I sometimes didn't think she was human at all.”

“That was the trouble with Joris. He was nice. You ended up liking him, whatever you did. Even when you wanted to shake him till his head fell off.”

“If nothing happened, then there's nothing to remember," she told herself, trying to sound philosophical. "Of course there's nowhere to start.”

“Pretending was like that. Things seemed to make themselves up, once you got going.”

“"Heroes see things like that," he said. "It must be," he said. It sounded as if he was humouring her.”

“Happiness isn't a thing. You can't go out and get it like a cup of tea. It's the way you feel about things.”

“To love someone enough to let them go, you had to let them go forever or you did not love them that much.”

“Vivian stared. Never had she seen a boy with such long hair! In fact, she had a vague notion that boys were born with their hair short back and sides and only girls had hair that grew long.”

“"Can I eat these?" he said. "I'll give you half," Sam said, plainly thinking he was being generous.”

“But she's too big!" the anguished man said, still glaring at Vivian. "This girl is not the right size!" "So you have," said this alarming man, turning his glare on Jonathan as if he did not think the change was for the better. "I see," he said. "She grew.”

“"If you call me V.S. once again," she said, "I shall scream - I warn you!" Sam patted her arm. "You need a butter-pie," he said kindly.”

“It was very boring. Perhaps it was his job to be boring, Vivian thought, in which case he was very good at his job.”

“"Curse those two time-ghosts!" he almost shrieked. "They made me quite sure you were the Time Lady! But you're not, are you? I could tell you were a real Twenty Century person with every word you said. Mickey Mouse!" he yelled.”

“It looks as if you need only enter the field for long enough to recognise the bannus and take hold of it. Then you order it to stop." "Fight my way through a mob of dancing girls and snatch the dulcimer off the leading damsel," Reigner Two said morbidly. "I can just see myself. I think the fools who invented this thing might have thought of a simpler way to stop it. What's wrong with a red switch?”

“"One person ought to treat another person properly, even if the person's himself." "What a strange idea!" Mordion said.”

“Oh, thank goodness!" he babbled. "I didn't mean it - at least I did, but I don't mean it now, not any more!" He flung one arm around Yam and twisted the other into Mordion's rolled cloak. "They came. They rustled. Don't let them!”

“Please, your story, or I shall offend the dignitaries of my kingdom by yawning at holy things.”

“It is of course a magic carpet." Abdullah had heard that one before. He bowed over his tucked-up hands. "Many and various are the virtues said to reside in carpets," he agreed. "Which one does the poet of the sands claim for this? Does it welcome a man home to his tent? Does it bring peace to the hearth? Or maybe," he said, poking the frayed edge suggestively with one toe, "it is said to never wear out?”

“Maybe," he said, "you should be more careful about whom you let your dog bite." "Not I!" said Jamal. "I am a believer of free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so.”

“I never said my wishes were supposed to do anyone any good," said the genie. "In fact, I swore that they would always do as much harm as possible.”

“So you'll be wanting all these hydrangeas chopped down, then?" "I like to chop things down," the kobold explained. "Chief pleasure of gardening.”

“I don't believe this!" Peter said. "Why is it respectable not to know how to do things? Is it respectable to light a fire with a bar of soap?" "That," Charmain said haughtily, "was an accident.”

“I had a mitherable childhood. Nobody loved me. I think I have a right to try again, looking pwettier, don't you?”

“"Oh, Lord! He's a weeper!" Grandad said disgustedly. "I wish I'd known. I'd have stayed away." "I know. But I don't have to like it, do I?" Grandad retorted.”

“Amazing. You're here, but you can't do a simple thing like raising light, or do I mean lazing right? Whichever. You can't. Why not?" He swayed about, looking solemn. "I quote," he said. "I'm very well read in the literature of several worlds, you know, and I quote. What do they teach them in these schools?”

“What you do is find your centre - can you do that?" "No, no!" he howled. "You're not a woman! Or are you?”

“Don't you even feel how marvellous it is to have talked to one of the Little People?" I said. "No, not as the main thing," Grundo grunted. "If you think like that, then you're treating him like something in a museum, not as a person.”