Bill O'Reilly (commentator)

“We'll do it live... WE'LL DO IT LIVE! DO IT LIVE... look, I'll write it and we'll do it live! Fucking thing SUCKS!”

“All this is beyond me. I had trouble with Lincoln Logs. Remember Lincoln Logs? I mean, that was it for me.”

“Winston Churchill said that democracy was the worst possible form of government, except for all the others. Maybe we can say the same about capitalism. For all of its faults, it gives most hardworking people a chance to improve themselves economically, even as the deck is stacked in favor of the privileged few... Here are the choices most of us face in such a system: Get bitter or get busy.”

“I don't care about the Constitution!”

“Saddam Hussein... I believe is involved with this World Trade Center and Pentagon bombing. I believe that you're going to find out that money from Iraq flowed in and helped this happen.”

“I want to quote this— "On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and to my country and obey Scout law", on and on and on and on. I mean, God's in the first 10 words. So – why did you have to tell them you were an atheist if you didn't have any trouble reading the oath? Why didn't you just shut up?”

“I wouldn't read the book, and I'll tell you why. I wouldna read Mein Kampf either. If I were going to UNC in 1941, and you, professor, said read Mein Kampf, I woulda said, "Hey, professor, with all due respect, shove it. I ain't reading it."”

“Paula Evan, Winston-Salem North Carolina: "Bill, if you are so concerned about public figures being bad role models for children please stop rudely interrupting your guest and telling them to shut up!" Well, the 'shut up' line has happened only once in six years, Miss Evans.”

“Our military machine will crush Iraq in a matter of days and there's no question that it will.”

“[to guest saying the war is "going to go on for months"] There's no way. There's absolutely no way. They may bomb for a matter of weeks, try to soften them up as they did in Afghanistan. But once the United States and Britain unleash, it's maybe hours. They're going to fold like that.”

“Think about this — some of us actively fighting to remove Saddam Hussein don't agree with the cause themselves, but they're doing their duty. And it is our duty as loyal Americans to shut up once the fighting begins, unless — unless facts prove the operation wrong, as was the case in Vietnam.”

“If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clean, he has nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush Administration again, all right?”

“I was wrong. I am not pleased about it at all and I think all Americans should be concerned about this… What do you want me to do, go over and kiss the camera?”

“Like a brain surgeon who drinks a martini when he's not on call, the successful kids in your school may smoke pot on occasion, but they are not stoners.”

“And guys, if you exploit a girl, it will come back to get you. That's called "karma."”

“I'll tell you what. I've been in combat. I've seen it, I've been close to it... and if my unit is in danger, and I've got a captured guy, and the guy knows where the enemy is, and I'm looking him in the eye, the guy better tell me. That's all I'm gonna tell you. The guy better tell me. If it's life or death, he's going first.”

“I just wish Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out, and I wouldn't have rescued them.”

“Most people showed up, and I think there were, like, 1,300 of them, to hear what the woman had to say. These far-left Nazis— and that's what they are, OK?— came in, not only insulted Ms. Coulter but violated the rights of the people who came to hear what she had to say. This is unacceptable on every level. And it's unacceptable to do what they do on their websites: to defame, to lie, to do whatever, you know, sleazy thing they can think of to people with whom they disagree.”

“When I die, I don't want my demise to be used as a political rally, and that's what happened yesterday.”

“I'm not buying this. If, if you're eleven years old, or twelve years old, thirteen, and you have a strong bond with your family, OK. Even if the guy [kidnapper] threatens you - this and that. … If you can get away, you get away.”

“The Soros-Lewis mob despises Fox News because we have their number and report on them accurately. They use the MoveOn website to smear this network and others with whom they disagree. These people use propaganda techniques perfected by Dr. Joseph Goebbels, the Nazi minister of information. They lie, distort, defame all the time.”

“America today is a confused society, caught up in a terror war, a culture war, and a media war, where honesty and professional standards have vanished.”

“And I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's Restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship. It was the same.”

“There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, "MFer, I want more iced tea." You know, I mean everybody was— it was like goin' into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb, in the sense of people were sitting there and they were ordering and having fun, and there wasn't any kinda craziness at all.”

“CNN has gone to the dark side.”

“You know, look, if I could strangle these people and not go to hell and get executed, I would, but I can't.”

“Many parents are worried in America about the gay agenda and indoctrination of their children to see homosexuality in a certain way.”

“It's all coming from the haters on the far left. Just throw it in the garbage. But the regular folks who really enjoy this program, what we want you to ask, Laurie, is why do we do things? Why do we do them?”

“On the pinhead front, 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. The sister of Britney says she is shocked. I bet. Now most teens are pinheads in some ways. But here the blame falls primarily on the parents of the girl, who obviously have little control over her....”

“Millions of American families are dealing with teenage pregnancy...It is true that some Americans will judge Governor Palin and her family. There's nothing anyone can do about it.”

“Meantime, the anti-liberal Fox News Channel and The Wall Street Journal, whose editorial page is conservative, are both doing very well.”

“Well, you know, if Mr. Hawking wants to come on and tell us how the earth got here or why the sun comes up and goes down without interruption, why the tide goes in and goes out — no miscommunications ever, you know, if he wants to explain how all that happened, we're ready to receive him, but of course he can't.”

“If they wanna be nonbelievers, I don't care, that's up to them, but it's just as much of a stretch to be an atheist as it is to believe in God, because there's no explanation for how the planet got here, and Hawkings doesn't have it.”

“Every fair-minded person should support government safety nets for people who need assistance through no fault of their own. But guys like McDermott don't make distinctions like that. For them, the baby Jesus wants us to "provide," no matter what the circumstance. But being a Christian, I know that while Jesus promoted charity at the highest level, he was not self-destructive.”

“I'll tell you why it's not a scam, in my opinion, all right? Tide goes in, tide goes out, never a miscommunication. You can't explain that.”

“It's not a traditional America anymore. And there are 50% of the voting public who want stuff. They want things, and who is going to give them things? President Obama. He knows it, and he ran on it. And whereby 20 years ago, President Obama would have be roundly defeated by an establishment candidate like Mitt Romney. The white establishment is now the minority. And the voters, many of them, feel that this economic system is stacked against them and they want stuff.”

“Do the atheists in Wisconsin realize they're going to Hell? Did you ask them that?”

“Bill O'Reilly: What religion is involved with Christmas? What religion?O'Reilly: That's not a religion. That's a philosophy.”

“O'Reilly: Mr. Silverman, it is a fact that Christianity is not a religion, it is a philosophy. If the government were saying that the Methodist religion, all right, deserves a special place in the public square, I will be on your side.O'Reilly: Correct. It is a phil-o-so-phy.”

“John Stossel: That nun has something to complain about, but your "war on Christianity", you're just a 10-foot-tall crybaby.Bill O'Reilly: They're verbally being killed.”