James Carville

“Back in 2000 a Republican friend warned me that if I voted for Al Gore and he won, the stock market would tank, we'd lose millions of jobs, and our military would be totally overstretched. You know what? I did vote for Al Gore, he did win, and I'll be damned if all those things didn't come true!”

“Republicans want smaller government for the same reason crooks want fewer cops: it's easier to get away with murder.”

“Look, if George W. Bush and his Republican cronies walked on water, I'd be the guy out there yelling that they couldn't swim. But don't take it from me: we've now heard it from the military commanders and our intelligence community: George Bush's actions in Iraq have not made us safer. They've done the opposite.”

“What I'm suggesting is, stand for yourself, be for something and the hell with it. Because the hand-wringers and the editorialists and the sigh-and-pontificate crowd will be against you, whatever you do.”

“Drag a hundred-dollar bill through a trailer park, you never know what you'll find.”

“Elections are about fucking your enemies. Winning is about fucking your friends.”

“At the beginning of the Clinton administration in the early 1990s, adviser James Carville was stunned at the power the bond market had over the government. If he came back, Carville said: I used to think if there was reincarnation, I wanted to come back as the president or the pope or a .400 baseball hitter. But now I want to come back as the bond market. You can intimidate everybody.”

“When your opponent is drowning, throw the son of a bitch an anvil.”

“You have to have sharp elbows if you want to change something.”

“I know a bit about selling books, and you need a good title - a catchy concoction with a little Cajun spice, something that will make folks stop in the aisles, turn away from the Grisham novels and the latest crazy diet fad, and pick up your masterpiece.”

“I've had enough of the blowhards on cable TV and the self-righteous anger I hear from people whose only accomplishment in life is their ability to turn the dial on an AM radio.”

“I was against gay marriage until I realized I didn't have to get one.”

“When you become famous, being famous becomes your profession.”

“Stay focused. Talk about things that’ll matter to the people, you know? It’s the economy, stupid.”

“Let me buy a [security] pass … so that they can scan me and and search me and measure my penis, then let me get on the plane.”

“John McCain, if you liked the last eight, you are going to love the next four.”

“You can call the dogs in, wet the fire, and leave the house. The hunt's over.”

“[On Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama] If she gave him one of her cojones, they'd both have two.”

“Mr. Richardson’s endorsement came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out for 30 pieces of silver, so I think the timing is appropriate, if ironic.”

“When George W. Bush was president, his daddy was raising money for the Bush library. I thought that was fine. When Bob Dole was Majority Leader, Elizabeth Dole was the president of American Red Cross. I didn't say anything.”

“Whenever I hear a campaign talk about a need to energize the base, that's a campaign that's going down the toilet. It's a pretty good indication that they're not eating up any territory, they can't get anybody in the center to support them, they're getting shelled back into their own bunker.”

“[Hollywood] hates America.”

“Who cares? Sometimes you need rebirth. (On the destruction of America)”

“Washington is a dirty diaper. It's time for a change.”

“Hurricane [Katrina] hit the Gulf Coast and destroyed much of the Gulf Coast — that was an act of God … Now what happened to New Orleans, that was a complete failure of the federal government. Complete negligence by the feds.”

“I didn’t just experiment with marijuana — if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I graduated with a 4.0… blood alcohol level.”