Marty Feldman

“Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.”

“Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.”

“Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.”

“I feel about Keaton the way an organist thinks of Bach.”

“I carry Keaton's photo around with me to remind me what happened to him. If the Hollywood system can destroy him it can destroy me.”

“When I quoted Bulwer Lytton's "The pen is mightier than the sword" to Marty Feldman he added reflectively, "Yes, and considerably easier to write with."”

“I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.”