Jello Biafra

“If you love god, burn a church.”

“I've been to enough other countries in the world to know what happens when you have socialized single-payer health care. It works. People don't get sick as much. They don't lose their life savings with a catastrophic illness like cancer or AIDS.”

“You can spend the money on new housing for poor people and the homeless, or you can spend it on a football stadium or a golf course.”

“Shut up, be happy. Obey all orders without question. The happiness you have demanded is now mandatory.”

“"Buy my soda!" said the Moose Diarrhea Salesman. And we did. We all did. But when we got it home and opened up the package, it was not what they said it was. And rather than chucking it all and searching for something better, we're content with looking for another Moose Diarrhea Salesman.”

“And we will NOT let Campbell's Soup, Old Navy, or anybody ELSE, HAMMER into the minds of girls as YOUNG as SIX YEARS OLD that they should ALWAYS hate their bodies and ALWAYS be on a diet!”

“We don't need a flat tax, but a flattening tax, to truly level the playing field.”

“Our biggest national security threat is the environmental destruction of our planet and the arms race with ourselves.”

“I am an anarchist in my personal life. I try to live my life in a way that I don't need cops or baby-sitters to keep me from infringing on others. But I don't feel we have evolved far enough as a species to make anarchy work in society itself. We still need government to transfer the wealth from those who have too much to those who have too little, to make sure important projects get done, and keep territorial humans from screwing over and killing each other.”

“What does it say about our country when people are so desperate for an alternative to our one-party state masquerading as a two-party state that they'll even elect a professional wrestler governor?”

“Don't hate the media, become the media.”

“Ronald Reagan - "Grandpa Caligula"; "Ronald McReagan" - No More Coccoons”

“George H. W. Bush - "King George the 1st" - Beyond the Valley of the Gift Police”

“Al Gore - "Prince Albert" - Become the Media”

“George W. Bush - "King George the 2nd", "Cowboy 'Peabrain' Cornholio" - In the Grip of Official Treason”

“Dick Cheney - "Dick 'The Dick' Cheney", Dick Chinny”

“John Ashcroft - "John Ashcrack" - ibid.”

“I don't think it's too hippie to want to clean up the planet so you don't wind up dying of some kind of cancer when you're 45 years old. It enrages me that these big cancer-research organizations can't be bothered to man the front lines of environmental protest.”